Author Topic: parents/ single parent otaku? (Read 1102 times)

Kiwi_Foxiit · « **on:** August 10, 2011, 11:10:28 pm »

I am a single mom of two, and I am only just now getting back into my beloved hobbies of anime, video games, and cosplay.
You see when my oldest was born, I kind of felt like, "you aren't supposed to do/ like this!" (Not to mention my ex was a real butt head about me cosplaying and stuff.) I just had such a hard time balancing parenting and my hobbies.
I'm just curious if there are any other parents that kind of went through this or something kinda like it? How did you deal? How do you find time for things like gaming or cosplay?

FinalGear · « **Reply #1 on:** August 11, 2011, 07:37:23 am »

lol... no kids yet (on my to do list), but my master keeps me a tie leash and doesn't show interest in any of my hobbies (so I feel your pain). But, hey share your hobbies and interest with your kids....

The Ronin · « **Reply #2 on:** August 11, 2011, 01:46:38 pm »

I try to introduce my kids to as much anime/cosplay/videogames as possible, but I do limit what they can watch with me. Luckily my wife is pretty tolerant and accepting of my geeky ways. The kids will actually be coming with me for at least Saturday and possibly Sunday this year. As far as finding time goes, I have a specific time arranged with my wife that I don't have a curfew a few nights a week to be able to stay up late playing games or watching anime that isn't friendly to the kiddos.

Mahou Shoujo Michi · « **Reply #3 on:** August 11, 2011, 10:59:02 pm »

Quite obviously, I'm not a parent. That said I hope you don't mind if I give my two cents.

Often we're told "You're too old for that!" "You need to grow up!" it's not just parents. Though, the pressure on a parent might be even harder, after all, you're responsible for the life of another human being. But as long as your hobbies and interest don't get in the way of your parenting.. what's the issue? Are your children healthy? Well fed? Are they loved? Do you take an active interest in their development? Yes? Then what's the issue if you want to watch the latest episode of Naruto as opposed to watching the latest episode of reality television? So what if instead of scrapbooking you enjoy playing a video game? The only way these things could be harmful is if you, I dunno neglect to feed your children because you can't pull yourself away from a 65 episode marathon.

Also, as others have said, include your children in on your interests. That isn't to say you should force it down their throats 24/7, but still.. share it with them. Just make sure you indulge their interests as well!
So, go to work, pay the bills, feed the kids, kiss the booboos, discipline them as needed, feed them and all that responsible stuff, and at the end of the day..

...are you really a bad parent if you watch an episode of Sailor Moon? :p

The Ronin · « **Reply #4 on:** August 12, 2011, 04:43:41 pm »

Quote from: Mahou Shoujo Michi on August 11, 2011, 10:59:02 pm

Quite obviously, I'm not a parent. That said I hope you don't mind if I give my two cents.

Often we're told "You're too old for that!" "You need to grow up!" it's not just parents. Though, the pressure on a parent might be even harder, after all, you're responsible for the life of another human being. But as long as your hobbies and interest don't get in the way of your parenting.. what's the issue? Are your children healthy? Well fed? Are they loved? Do you take an active interest in their development? Yes? Then what's the issue if you want to watch the latest episode of Naruto as opposed to watching the latest episode of reality television? So what if instead of scrapbooking you enjoy playing a video game? The only way these things could be harmful is if you, I dunno neglect to feed your children because you can't pull yourself away from a 65 episode marathon.

Also, as others have said, include your children in on your interests. That isn't to say you should force it down their throats 24/7, but still.. share it with them. Just make sure you indulge their interests as well!
So, go to work, pay the bills, feed the kids, kiss the booboos, discipline them as needed, feed them and all that responsible stuff, and at the end of the day..

...are you really a bad parent if you watch an episode of Sailor Moon? :p

That...

WAS BEAUTIFUL!

<-- happy tears

Kiwi_Foxiit · « **Reply #5 on:** August 13, 2011, 01:07:34 am »

It's so great to hear about personal experiences, (wether it be kids or not) and the advice is so wonderful

I feel so much better now. <3

missy · « **Reply #6 on:** August 21, 2011, 09:43:46 am »

i don't think you have anything to worry about. you seem to have a good head on your shoulders, and sharing in each others' interests will help you and your kids stay close over time (at least that's how it is for my mom and i).

CategoryKing · « **Reply #7 on:** August 21, 2011, 10:18:05 am »

I don't have kids but I'm at least a little older than the general con-goer I would assume at 24. I have friends that started having kids and it's been pretty much the whole "growing out of anime and video games" stuff. It's really upsetting with friends that I talked with on a daily basis, now not really having anything to talk about except the typical "How's life?" kind of stuff. You can never be too old to enjoy hobbies. I'm married now but back in my dating days I only wanted to be with someone that would either share in my hobbies or at least accept them. I think anime especially gets a bad wrap because people outside of the anime community just see it as cartoons, so it makes people think you are childish and immature, but screw them because they don't understand a thing. If I did have kids I would definitely want to expose them to it all because I think it would be fun for the whole family.

Shareece · « **Reply #8 on:** August 21, 2011, 01:05:02 pm »

I am a single Mom of three and I find that it really is a huge balancing act to keep the two seperate. I love my children, but conventions are my little get aways, my mini vacations. Finding time to make costumes and getting ready? Nap time or after bed time. It makes it hard and leaves very little time, but that seems to be the way that I can pull it off. If my kids grow to love anime, awesome, but if not, I am not going to be hurt by it since the usual run of things is that kids grow up hating or ashamed of whatever their parents are part of. I have this horrible vision that when my girls turn 16 that they will have us on MTV's True Life; I am Ashamed of My Parents version and all they show is me cosplaying at conventions. >.< Yes, these really are things that I am afraid of.

Anyways! back to topic, when I was going through my divorce my cosplaying and conventions were something that kept my mind off of the drama that a divorce is. Cosplay and my cosplaying friends really has helped me get through some hard things, and I guess that's how I will always look at it that it is my hobby and my outlet to my stress, so if my kids don't grow up liking it, I will be okay with. Though i would be lying if I I wasn't thrilled if one of my kids became interested into anime and cosplaying. I have visions of mini Lolita's and Kid versions of anime characters. It could be fun, but I want them to make the conscious decision to get into it, not have me push them that way.

CategoryKing · « **Reply #9 on:** August 21, 2011, 11:59:23 pm »

I guess it's not always just about "growing out of it." I guess since I don't have kids I often forget how much time and dedication it takes, so sometimes there just isn't time for hobbies. If I did have kids I agree that I wouldn't be hurt if they didn't get into the stuff but it would be great if they did. Also yay Eclair avatar, lol.

OtakuDucky · « **Reply #10 on:** August 22, 2011, 02:41:40 am »

Its hard at first you start watching anime or reading manga again. I had my son about a year and a half ago and I couldnt for a long time because I'ld get him to sleep and feel like I should do something more productive. But At the end of the day being a mom doesnt mean you arnt the same person. I love my kiddo more then anything in the world but anime is my little escape.....

I had a point I swear...

But yeah, how is letting your kids enjoy anime any different then saterday morning cartoons. Now look at it as something you can enjoy and your kids can experience. the more diverse the better right? So consider it studing . XD

brianca · « **Reply #11 on:** August 26, 2011, 09:12:24 pm »

I have a six year old girl and we curl up almost every night in front of he laptop for some hulu anime. She loves it. She even speaks a little Japanese with me. I'll be bringing her to NDK this year as her first con, and she is super excited. She's also a Zelda fanatic among many other games.

If she were not interested, I'd still find time to do it myself. Probably after she goes to bed, but I'm thrilled she is in to it. Sometimes it's like we have our own language. I'm also VERY liberal in what she watches and plays, but here are some limits. She loves zombies and the like. I used do do a lot of film work, so we talk a lot about how they make movies and the differences between real life and movies/games.

Best of luck, and remember that you don't have to lose yourself to be a good parent to your kids. The fact that you are even asking the questions means thar you are probably on the right track.

jewel_mccloud · « **Reply #12 on:** September 05, 2011, 11:02:02 am »

This will be my 7 year old niece's second year at the convention. She'll be so happy to see other kids at the con!

I love how she's getting old enough to start digging some of my favorite anime; she just discovered Sailor Moon recently, and I'm happy she's developing a cute new obsession over it. Or maybe I'm just tired of her previous Mario/Princess Peach obsession.

Anyhoo, I'd say, use your love of anime as an extra thing to bond with your kids with. Conventions are more fun as a family affair.... at least while they young enough to think what their parent's like is cool. I too imagine her growing up and being, like, you forced me to wear a costume... in public!! ^_^;;

rini · « **Reply #13 on:** September 05, 2011, 12:15:41 pm »

i'm 38, and i'll be doing ghetto cosplay of k-on ritsu this year. thank god i still look young, at least =P

anyway, let me give you my observations of watching anime families grow up for 9 years of owning an anime store. it's been, honestly, a real privilege to see these families. i saw their children when they were barely walking, or babies, or pre-teens, and now they're in high school, or in college.

WITHOUT FAIL, every single one of these kids appreciated and loved that their parents loved the same things they did. they loved that their parents would take them to conventions. they loved that their parents helped them with cosplay. they loved that they had something to talk about and share with their parents. EVERY SINGLE ONE of those kids has grown up to be happy, well-adjusted teens and young adults. because they were close to their parents, both parents and kids trusted each other, could talk to one another when things happened. all of these kids are respectful, kind, generous, good-mannered people. we've watched these kids go to college, and their parents love to brag about how their kids are straight-A students, or on the dean's list in college.

i've never heard a kid say, "wow, i wish my mom wasn't so into anime, it's embarrassing!" i've only heard kids say, "wow, your mom is so cool, she cosplays! i wish my mom liked anime, instead of yelling at me about it."

_that_ is good parenting.

soulless · « **Reply #14 on:** September 05, 2011, 10:11:00 pm »

I have four kids, and I've been back into anime and manga for about 12 years. I kinda got out of it after I got a "real job" my last year of college, and forgot about it for awhile. When my oldest was 4 she loved Sailor Moon. I later got back into DBZ, and the rest is history.

I have to say it's been tough. I went to NDK for the first time a few years ago, and my daughter ditched me... I was so lonely at first. But we love working on cosplays together, and last year she even hung out with me a little. This year I'm bringing my 9 and 10 year old, and we're all cosplaying. Talk about work! I thought putting together costumes for just me was bad. But I'm really excited to take them. I hope somehow I can balance it all. I want to have some "me" time at the con too, but the husbutt doesn't get into anime, so he doesn't go.

I admit to staying up too late reading/watching my favorite manga/anime but that's my only time to watch in peace. I do let the little ones watch certain things with me if they seem interested, and they recently picked out their own manga at the library to read! I didn't influence them one bit. My youngest asked why the book was "backwards" and I explained it to her and she checked out all three volumes they had there! It was fun to share it with her, and teach her a little more about my hobby. It's definitely different than when I was into it when I was in my early 20's, but it works and I'm glad I rediscovered it. I still feel a little weird at conventions, like I'm too old for cosplaying and everything, but that's just something I'll have to get over. ; )

GimmeAnime · « **Reply #15 on:** September 06, 2011, 10:10:47 am »

The problem is that there are 2 types of parents at anime cons; the fans who are bringing the next generation and the escorts who are just there for their kids (and are usually praying that their kids get out of this 'phase' and start doing 'normal' things). Occasionally, you'll find a non-fan parent who's trying to get in on the fun, but we find those to be the exception, not the rule.

Someone should create a group for parents who are also anime fans. While there are plenty of adult anime fans, those of us without kids don't have quite the same challenges as those that do and maybe a specific group/club/whatever geared toward them would help. Meet-ups at NDK would be good, along with panels (How to Cosplay Without Embarrassing Your Children?

) and outside the con as well, like pooling babysitting resources so you can all go out and watch Perfect Blue rather than Pokemon.

Half of the fun of going to anime cons rather than just regular sci-fi cons was that you knew you were with somewhat likeminded people. Knowing there are other fan parents are around could make NDK a much more enjoyable experience.

soulless · « **Reply #16 on:** September 06, 2011, 06:48:57 pm »

Quote from: GimmeAnime on September 06, 2011, 10:10:47 am

Someone should create a group for parents who are also anime fans. While there are plenty of adult anime fans, those of us without kids don't have quite the same challenges as those that do and maybe a specific group/club/whatever geared toward them would help. Meet-ups at NDK would be good, along with panels (How to Cosplay Without Embarrassing Your Children? ) and outside the con as well, like pooling babysitting resources so you can all go out and watch Perfect Blue rather than Pokemon.

That's a great idea! NDK (and the Denver area in general) needs to have something like a parents group, now that so many of us are bringing up the next generation of anime fans. I'd love to help get a group like that started. That is, if there are other people who'd be into helping start it too. Problem is... I'd have absolutely no clue how to go about it. ^^;

My daughter and I have talked about doing a cosplay panel for awhile now, she thinks it'd be awesome if we did a panel that combined our knowledge, and could be aimed at parents as well as their kids.

We might actually try to submit a panel next year and see what happens. She's been just as supportive of my anime hobby as I've been of her.

jewel_mccloud · « **Reply #17 on:** September 06, 2011, 07:36:07 pm »

I think a panel directed toward parents and kids would be awesome! A meet and greet would be even better. I know one of my niece's highlight's last year was meeting other kids during the costume contest.

I remember back in the day there used to be a kid friendly video room. Whatever happened to it?

P.S. You can never be too old to cosplay, I plan on dressing up as Cologne when I in my 80s. <3

GimmeAnime · « **Reply #18 on:** September 07, 2011, 08:23:16 am »

Quote from: jewel_mccloud on September 06, 2011, 07:36:07 pm

I think a panel directed toward parents and kids would be awesome! A meet and greet would be even better. I know one of my niece's highlight's last year was meeting other kids during the costume contest.

I'd say make sure you tell people it's for parents who are fans (and those that might be interested in becoming fans), not a 'parent's guide to anime'. Less "My kid is in a strange hobby" and more "My kids found my cosplay photos and fanfics from the 90's"

Quote

I remember back in the day there used to be a kid friendly video room. Whatever happened to it?

I'd say the kid-friendly is the default in the video rooms now. At a more adult-oriented convention like MileHiCon, you get kid rooms. When you have a con oriented more towards kids like NDK, then anything adult becomes the exception.

The Ronin · « **Reply #19 on:** September 07, 2011, 12:20:44 pm »

Quote from: jewel_mccloud on September 06, 2011, 07:36:07 pm

P.S. You can never be too old to cosplay, I plan on dressing up as Cologne when I in my 80s. <3

When my hair goes grey I'm making Old Snake and Big Boss my standbys

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Author Topic: parents/ single parent otaku? (Read 1102 times)