Favorite Funny Saying or Quote

[ImaNoodle]

So being the curious person I am, I was wondering what's something you've said, someone else said, or a funny quote in general. Give a little reason why also. It can be anime related or not, that's up to you :]

My favorite funny quote would be,

"Children, your performance was miserable. Your parents will
all receive phone calls instructing them to love you less now."
-Ms.Bitters from Invader Zim
My reason is, this made me double over laughing and Invader Zim is my favorite cartoon :]

[OverlordLaharl79]

"Don't shoot, I'm a human!" The first person you encounter in Resident Evil 2.

[rini]

"i've always said you get more with a 2x4 and a kind word than with just a kind word." marcus, babylon 5

[Greg Hines]

Two of my favorite quotes from my quotes.txt file are from a user on the Ars Technica OpenForum. He had a way with words.

*On the Microsoft vs. Netscape Browser War*
"What's Microsoft supposed to do? Release a worse browser? The only way a browser could be worse than Navigator is if it pushed your grandma down the stairs when you saved a favourite."
- Paul Hill

"You'd have been more productive learning how to choke yourself with a fork."
- Paul Hill

(Those are both about nine years old...)

[Lightane]

"Why do you always stare at me like I just drowned your goldfish?" - Xigbar Kingdom Hearts 358/2 Days

"Never take life seriously, no one gets out alive anyways."- Anonymous

[ImaNoodle]

Haha I love Xigbar. I need to finish 358/2 though Dx lol.

[.Mitsu:Vision.]

"I'm not retreating! Just simply advancing in the opposite direction." - Sexiest man on earth. ^^

"This is a lame topic. Lets talk about making a tent out of blankets and ski poles!" -me 5 seconds ago!

"If you are afraid of someone or for them, creep closer and you just might feel pity." Black Soul Alchemist

[nemisis47]

Don't fret the petty things, don't pet the sweaty things. -George Carlin

[ImaNoodle]

Don't fret the petty things, don't pet the sweaty things. -George Carlin

Haha, that's on my top ten quotes now :]

[The Ronin]

This is what the guide has to say about flying; Flying is the act of throwing oneself at the ground while intending to miss. This is usually achieved by becoming distracted at the last possible moment before impact.

The late Douglas Adams

[OtakuHockeyGirl]

”A fast body-contact game played by men with clubs in their hands and knives laced to their feet.”

- Paul Gallico describing Hockey

[John]

"Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former." - Albert Einstein

[Silver]

Don't fret the petty things, don't pet the sweaty things. -George Carlin

It's Sweat. Don't sweat the petty things, don't pet the sweaty things. XD

Following that vein: "The very existence of flame-throwers proves that some time, somewhere, someone said to themselves, 'You know, I want to set those people over there on fire, but I'm just not close enough to get the job done.'" - Also from the wonderful George Carlin

[nemisis47]

My apologies, but you get the picture XD

Here's another from good ol mr. Carlin, god rest his soul

To me, fast food is when a cheetah eats a antelope.

[Hen(Tai)]

"Of course a man made it. It's a commercial Lois, not a delicious thanksgiving dinner"
-Peter from Family Guy

[starstreaker]

One I've taken a shine to after several discussions with Sixwing:

Most human games can be boiled down to one very simple concept: Throwing something at something else.

[The Ronin]

It's time to sing the doom song now! Doom doom doom doom doom doom doom dooom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom dooom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doooooom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doomdoom doom doom doom doom dooom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doooom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom dooom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom dooom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom dooooom doom doom doom dooooooooom doom doomy doomy doomy doom doom the end!

[MAD-3R]

" No matter where you go.......there you are." Buckaroo Banzai.

[Masurao Tsukino]

lol I love reading these, and I have a lot, but I dont remember a vast majority of them.

This one is anime related,

"'Mom do you think I could be a model?'
'You can be whatever you like as long as you dont borrow my clothes.'
'Gee mom, so glad I have your support, waaaaaaaa'"
I had to do a double take when I heard that on Sailor Moon, made me laugh so much.

Another good one not anime related from Daria
Mr. O'Neal: "And remember a spoon full of sugar helps the medicine go down"
Jane: "Not if your diabetic"

[Daft Punk]

Time.......Line......Time is not made out of lines.....it is made out of circles......Thats why clocks are round! "Caboose RvB"